Gav: Hi. I need to look at the apartment listings. Here's my school I.D.
Clerk: Cash, check, or charge?

Gav: What?
Clerk: It's $20 per week of access. Plus $10 for emailed listings, but only for one housing catagory[sic]-- you have to pay extra for studios and apartments, plus extra during peak times... that's just because we can.

Gav: B-but, the housing office has always been a free student service.

Passerby: OHMAGAW! He's one of the ancients of which we were told!
Gav: Nevermind, here's a check...
Clerk: His I.D. number starts with a zero!