Suzy Gee: I don't understand. How can YOU be graduating? You're nowhere near done with your thesis!
Gav: Lighten up, Suzy Gee. It's just a ceremony. You just have to say that you've NIGH finished.

Suzy Gee: But...
Gav: Look, anyone can fill out the paperwork, accept that blank faux diploma on stage, then soak the relatives for presents...

Suzy Gee: So this would be a "dishonorary" degree?
Gav: They call it a doctorate of "Philosophy." I'm just taking certain liberties.