Dr.Goldfinger: Students, your final term paper projects will be to complete various research projects that I can't afford to pay graduate students to do. You will wite them in a standard two-column publishable format with my name, Dr. Goldfinger, listed as the primary author.

Dr.Goldfinger: Do not put your own name on the paper. Attaching your S.I.D. number on a post-it will be sufficient. The due date will be one week before my next professional conference. Grades are base on the difficulty of the questions I'm asked at said conference.

Suzy: We're paying HOW much per semester to do his research for him?
Danny: Cheer up, Suzy Gee. Just think about his reaction at the conference when he finds out I'm taking this class pass
not pass.
{{Contraction!}}