Undergrad: Determinist!
Undergrad: Libertarian!
But with quantum theory
Came new revelations
Which bred new philosophies
And... altercations!

This "knowledge newfound" was like
That learned by Faust!
But conflicts were settled with
Broomsticking joust.
Undergrad: Believe!
Undergrad: Never!

"This isn't religion!" he
Yelled, "So get along!
The first lesson of science is
That we can be wrong."

So they put down their broomsticks
And agreed "no more harming."
I don't blame them, or course, what
With that smile, so "disarming!"

And I heard him explain as
He rose from the fight
"Sharing physics with all will make
You all a good knight!"